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avatar rayo209 4 day.ago

"I'm losing my shit"

Doctor: Maybe you shouldn't have eaten so many tacos on Tuesday

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. My neighbor

I live next to an old man who clearly has advanced dementia. Every morning when I leave for work he asks me if I've seen his wife, and I have to tell him she died ten years ago. My girlfriend says why don't you just move away so you don't have to go through this every morning? I tell her I would miss the smile he gives me every morning when he hears it.

2. My wife asked me, "Why don't you treat me like you did when we were dating?"

So i took her out for dinner and a movie, then dropped her off at her parents' house.

3. Two co-workers are chatting. "Hey, Jim, your vacation's coming up next week! Where are you going?"

"Cancun. But I'm a little worried." "How come?" "Well, the last two vacations, my wife has ended up pregnant. Last year it was Las Vegas, and she got pregnant. The year before that it was Miami, and sure enough, she got pregnant." "Wow! You'd better take precautions this time!" "I'm planning on it. For starters, I'm taking her with me this year."

4. What’s the difference between an epileptic oyster shucker, and a prostitute with diarrhea?

An epileptic oyster shucker shucks between fits.

5. The Pentagon was originally supposed to be an octagon.

But seemingly the architect cut a few corners.

6. Why did the agnostic man with dyslexia fall asleep on the job?

Because he stayed up all night wondering if there is a dog.

7. How many sperm cells are in cum shot?

A JIZZillion!

8. How did God know what was happening in the garden of Eden?

He was always Eve’s dropping.

9. What’s in front of women and backside of cow?

(w)

10. Amazing

Did you know 'emas eht yltcaxe' is exactly the same backwards?

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